What Fears You?
When we are children we have tons of fears that arise. The fright of a movie, being scared that you wont be good at something like a sport, and even the famous scare of what happens when it gets dark or what may visit you in your dreams…
I’m older now and when I look back I see those childhood fears as an emotional tie to something that I knew was a possibility. It was a fear of something I had some control over, even though as kids we dont know what control is. I say control because as a child; I decided to watch that movie, or try that sport, and I chose to sleep with all the lights off, or with no night light. We are still learning as children and the door to fear is real to us then but its an afterthought that becomes short when compared to a fun time with friends and family, or getting sick from eating too much candy. I will admit Dreaming is a whole different subject and for me dreams and the fears I face in my dreams to this very night are still a thing for me, sometimes fearful. The fear of a child is different, they are simply percieved as emotional scares that as an adult I can look back on now and see as an expectation of a fear.
As I said, I’m older now, as most that are reading this are. Hopefully you would agree as a child the fears you had dissapaited now that you’ve grown. The bigger fears you deal with in life aren’t summed up to whether or not the boogeyman is going to crawl out from underneath your bed.
Fear when we get older seems to come in many other forms. You have the fear of a confrontation with maybe your boss, or somene at work. You fear you have to let a friend or spouse down from an obligation you made. You fear your going to let your kids down because of money or timing. Confrontation is also an emotional fear but its much more real than that of those childhood fears. These fears affect you, but in a different way. Confontation and the fear that comes with it can affect more than just you, depending on how its handled. This is why people meditate, self medicate, and reflect on situations so when they experience that fear of confrontation they dont decide to freeze up and hide.
Threat is also a fear, and its one that most literally run from. This form of fear can catch us off guard, and not in a…”I learned something and now its a threat to me or someone” that fear is one I will get to next. When I think of the fear of threat, I think of being in the ocean snorkeling and coming face to face with for instance a big fish that seems scary, some would say a shark. Taking a walk/jog and being confronted by a growling dog, or rabid animal. Stopping in your car at a light only to be hit from behind by another car. These threats are not within our control. That fear leaves some people to never drive, swim, or walk in their own neighborhood, and if they did it leaves some literally running. The fear behind these types of threats come in so many forms that if we tried to control all of them, our risk factor for a full lived life would be severly diminished. I do believe this is where the “live life to the fullest” quote comes to play. At the end of the day you can’t forsee every threat that may come your way when you wake up.
I covered two of the main fears I can relate to and I have one more that I call Discovery. The fear of discovery can sometimes stop us in our tracks and leave us completely numb. We learn things on a daily basis about ourselves, family and friends, and the world we live in. Depression I feel is a huge issue that stems from a form of discovery that someone has made about themselves or that came from a doctors diagnosis. Friends or famly that you learn to be sick or terminal can be an overcoming emotion from the fear of discovery. I’m a huge animal lover so in that same case discovering my dog has a tumor breaks my heart and fills it with unimaginable amounts of fear, that turns to hope. The fear that you just learned a test you wanted to be negative is now a positive impact in your day to day, is an absolute realistic fear. A fear from a discovery becomes real in a sense that it affects us physically and emotionally in the present. Its not a what if, or a percieved notion its a real action, a new stress, a turning point for some. I truly feel for people that experience these types of discovery fears. Having control takes on a whole new meaning now with this type of fear.
That control we experienced when we were kids was non-existent. The fear of a threat is about how you can decide to handle the scary fish or dog you come encounter with. When it comes to a discovery fear its not a control over the present action you fear its about the control over the outcome of the discovery thats now a reality. Can you control yourself and that fear enough to support someone. Can you control that fear for yourself, to make sure you have a game plan for tomorrow, after finding that discovery from today.
Control over our fears in all phases of our life can seem impossible until you step out of the fear. We are human beings and we are all programmed to have fear. Some handle it much better than others but I think its because they have that awareness to know of the different forms of fear they’ve experienced. It gives them a higher sense of courage for their situation and how to handle it with an open mind. Everyone freaks over their fears, especially in the moment…but really… what is a moment? How long does it last before your brain kicks in and reminds you how strong you really can be?
“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” Nelson Mandala